


A Lesson in Etiquette

by jane_x80



Series: Etiquette (aka The DiNozzo Pizza and Panty Chronicles) [1]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Arguing, Established Relationship, Exhibitionism, Fluff and Crack, Gratuitous Smut, Humor, Jealousy, M/M, Panties, Pizza, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Possessive Behavior
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-30
Packaged: 2018-09-02 23:18:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8687425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jane_x80/pseuds/jane_x80
Summary: Tony has a tendency to answer the door wearing nothing but his underwear when he calls for food to be delivered which Gibbs finds shocking. This becomes a source of contention between the two men.ORThe times when Tony drives Gibbs up the wall with his lack of concern for the etiquette of answering his door when the delivery guy rings the doorbell.





	1. Boxers or Briefs?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hazel_rah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hazel_rah/gifts).



> This is a somewhat cracky fic that started because my friend hazel_rah and I were having a discussion and it turns out that she showers and dresses and is as presentable as if she is going out in order to get the door for food delivered to her. Whereas I am of the opinion that I'm not going to be kissing the delivery guy, so I don't even bother brushing my teeth. I answer wearing pajamas or whatever else I might be wearing and I honestly couldn't care less what the delivery person might think about me. The argument about whether or not her way was right, or my way was right may or may not have devolved into name calling. But in the end, we both agreed that it would make a good fic and then I just couldn't get it out of my head. It's distracting me from finishing my sesa!
> 
> So anyway, here it is. Thanks, hazel_rah, for always bringing laughter and fun into my day, and for your scintillating conversation while I'm trying to work. ;) Love you, hon! And seriously, you can start answering the door to pick up your deliveries while wearing your pajamas. No one here will judge you. :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is set in the second half of season 2 (the year is 2005). Before SWAK and the dramatic ending of that season.

Gibbs stretched languidly in his bed. His body was thrumming and purring, happy and content after the mind-numbing and blinding orgasm that he’d just had and the little nap following it. The doorbell rang and Tony groaned, moving weakly in the circle of his arms.

“I don’t want to get up,” he whined.

“I’m not even the one who’s hungry,” Gibbs drawled.

“Oh fuck you,” Tony grumbled as he slowly sat up and extracted himself out of Gibbs’ arms.

Gibbs smacked Tony’s ass, the sound a sharp reverberation in Gibbs’ bedroom. “You’re the one who wanted pizza.”

“I always want pizza,” Tony searched around on the floor and pulled on the first pair of boxers he could find – they were Gibbs’, Gibbs noticed – and he fumbled for the wallet in his pants which were also thrown carelessly on the floor. “I’m a walking receptacle of bodily fluids, Gibbs,” he rolled his eyes at the older man.

“Don’t let Abby catch you then,” Gibbs snickered. “Or she’ll have you sampled and centrifuged in no time.”

“Major Mass Spec will have a field day,” Tony agreed.

The doorbell rang again, twice this time.

“I’m coming!” Tony yelled down grumpily. He threw his pants back down onto the floor and made his way towards the door.

“At least put a shirt on, DiNozzo!” Gibbs yelled as Tony stumbled out of the room dressed only in Gibbs’ boxers. Gibbs knew that not only was Tony’s belly crusted with his own cum, but his ass was probably leaking Gibbs’ spunk now. A small corner of Gibbs’ mind was smug about the fact that Tony could barely walk straight after what they’d just done but a larger part of it was starting to get horrified that Tony was going to answer the door in such disarray.

Gibbs rolled out of bed, pulled sweatpants out of a drawer and found a robe to take downstairs for Tony. He hastily threw a t-shirt on as he ran down the stairs. He watched as Tony flirted with the pizza delivery man – wait, it was a woman, a cute blonde with an adorable pixie haircut – before Tony pleasantly said goodbye and closed the door.

“Shit, DiNozzo,” Gibbs muttered, throwing the robe at Tony’s face. The damned man caught it before it could hit him, even though he had a pizza box in his hand. Gibbs silently cursed Tony’s stupid sharp reflexes, before he took that back as quickly as he could. Tony’s sharp reflexes had saved his life and Gibbs’ on more than one occasion. But still. It would’ve been satisfying to see the robe hit Tony’s face. “You coulda put a shirt on,” he groused.

Tony looked confused. “What?” he asked.

“For fuck’s sake Tony, could you at least try to be somewhat decent when you answer the door for a delivery person?”

Tony looked down at himself. “But I have boxers on,” he said, speaking as if Gibbs was five. “It’s not like I was naked. Although I’ve done _that_ before, and I gotta say, I think that might not have been my brightest idea,” he shrugged. “They asked me for a different kind of tip, if you know what I mean,” he winked mischievously.

Gibbs snorted. “And you think _this_ is a good idea, Tony?” he gestured to Tony’s body.

“Nobody’s ever complained before,” Tony made that face that meant that even if they had complained, he couldn’t and didn’t give a shit. “In fact, I think I get really good delivery times at my apartment, compared to my neighbors.”

“Tony!”

“What?” Tony shrugged. “It’s no big deal. It’s just such a fucking pain to have to get dressed every time I get food delivered. I mean, take today. We had the day off. We’ve been in bed all day. I’m feeling way too lazy to cook or get ready to go out for food, and I just wanted food brought to me like magic. I’m not going to shower and get dressed just because I’m getting food delivered. That would kind of negate the whole ‘I’m lazy and I ordered delivery instead of figuring anything else out because that takes too much energy’ vibe that I’ve got going.”

“What? Are you saying that you routinely answer your door – and now my door – pretty much naked to get your food?”

“Yes, that is exactly what I’m saying. I order pizza or Chinese or Thai or whatever the fuck I want, and then I just get the door wearing whatever the hell I happen to be wearing on my lazy day off. And if I happen to be naked when they ring the doorbell, I throw on boxers or whatever might be near at hand, and voila, I’m ready to pick up the food at my front door.”

Gibbs shook his head. “That’s just wrong, Tony.”

“If I showered and dressed to get the door, then I may as well go out. That’s so not the point of getting food delivered, Jethro. People don’t get dressed especially to answer the door.”

“Yes, they do. Or I do, anyway. I usually take a shower and then dress somewhat decently – jeans, hoodie, you know, something I’d wear outside as well – even _before_ I order the food.”

Tony’s mouth fell open. “You shower and dress as if you’re going out to answer the door to get the food that the delivery person is bringing you.”

Gibbs nodded.

“You _shower and dress_ for a thirty-second interaction on an otherwise completely unproductive and relaxing day?” Tony was completely shocked.

“It’s not like I put on a goddamned monkey suit! I’m just dressed normally. Decently.”

“You go to all this trouble, you shower and dress as if you’re going out, for a thirty-second interaction with someone bringing you food you ordered that you don’t expect to ever see ever again? I mean, let’s be serious here. The turnover rate of restaurant delivery drivers is pretty high.” Tony kept repeating ‘shower and dress’ as if Gibbs had said that he gave himself a spa treatment instead of just a quick shower.

Gibbs nodded again. “Sometimes I don’t shave,” he conceded.

Tony started laughing hysterically. “Sometimes he doesn’t shave,” he shook his head. “Jesus fucking Christ, Jethro. You’re such a freak. Maybe next time _I_ should fuck _you_ instead of you fucking me because maybe then I’ll be able to get that stick out of your ass.”

“You just should be decently dressed, is all I’m saying.”

“And showered,” Tony raised his eyebrows. “Don’t forget that part. Shaving’s optional.” Tony’s facetious tone of voice was getting to Gibbs.

“And what’s wrong with that? I’m sure it’s preferable to you opening the door wearing nothing but your boxers!”

“First of all Gibbs, I think these are _your_ boxers,” Tony looked down at himself. He wiggled his ass thoughtfully before he nodded. “Yep. Definitely yours. Mine are much softer. Not sure if I was even wearing boxers today though. Do _you_ remember if I was?”

“Restaurants are going to complain about your indecency, DiNozzo,” Gibbs pouted, ignoring Tony’s words.

“In _de_ cent?” Tony’s eyebrows went even higher, along with his voice. “Are you calling me indecent?”

“You’re practically naked!” Gibbs yelled.

“I’m _not_ naked!” Tony yelled back. “That delivery chick didn’t complain. In fact, she gave me her cell phone number and told me to call her personally next time we wanted pizza delivered and she’d get it here in record time!”

“I can’t believe we’re arguing about this!” Gibbs roared.

“Me neither!” Tony yelled back.

“Are you trying to seduce the delivery people?”

“Am I _what_ now?” Tony shook his head. “OK, let’s just hold up there. You and I had sex, and it was good sex. Great sex even. It made me hungry. I ordered pizza. The doorbell rang and I put on boxers to come get the food and now all of a sudden I’m _seducing_ the delivery people? _You’re_ the one who seduced _me_ , Jethro!”

“What do you call _that?_ ” Gibbs gestured to Tony’s body. “Flashing all that skin! Showing off your goddamn six-pack! What do you call that? Cause I call it exposing yourself to the public!”

“I call it ‘I’m hungry and I’m not naked so it’s OK to answer the door’. I am not exposing myself to the public.”

“But you just said this is how you normally answer the door to pick up the food!”

“It’s because this _is_ how I normally answer the door to get the food! _This_ is how I normally dress when I’m home alone! I don’t get all gussied up and worry about what clothes I’m wearing when all I’m doing is hanging around on my sofa, watching movies or reading. If I don’t have to go anywhere, and I’m not expecting real company, I don’t hang around my house all showered and dressed like I’m going out. I just hang out in my underwear, like a normal guy. You’re the one who showers and dresses, whether anyone is going to see you or not. What’s _that_ all about, huh? Are _you_ trying to impress the delivery people?”

Gibbs made a strangled sound of frustration. “Of _course_ not! I’m just trying to make a point that you should be decent and respectful of everyone!”

“And I’m making the point that I’m relaxed and I hang out in my boxers all the time. And if it’s that kind of day, and I’m too lazy to cook or shower or get dressed and go out, then I order delivery and I answer it in whatever clothes I happen to be wearing at that time. It’s _why_ they invented delivery, Jethro. So people can stay in their underwear, do nothing, and still get hot food to eat.”

Gibbs shook his head.

“Wait, did _you_ just call me indecent and disrespectful?” Tony demanded.

“Just fucking put the robe on next time, huh?”

“I’ll show you fucking indecent and disrespectful,” Tony angrily yanked Gibbs’ boxers down and off of himself, and Gibbs couldn’t help but salivate at the sight of Tony’s sharp hipbones and the heavy dick hanging between his legs. Tony threw the boxers in Gibbs’ face. He’d been a two-sport varsity athlete. His aim was impeccable and Gibbs was too distracted by Tony’s nakedness to catch the boxers or deflect them so they landed right in his face. “There. _Now_ you can call me indecent and disrespectful,” Tony growled.

“ _Tony_!” Gibbs pulled the soiled boxers off, fuming.

Tony’s eyes narrowed. “You’re making a big deal out of nothing, Jethro,” he said firmly. He tossed Gibbs’ robe over the couch, opened the pizza box and grabbed a slice. He shoved the box into Gibbs’ hands, chewing on his slice as he ran back upstairs, completely naked. “In the meantime, I am dripping your cum out of my ass so give me a minute to clean up. Don’t eat all my pizza or you’ll have to go through a repeat performance of this,” he called down airily.

And with that, Gibbs’ bedroom door slammed shut and he was left holding the pizza box.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

Gibbs thought that that would be the end of it but as it turned out it was only the beginning. Tony was fond of pizza and Chinese, and Thai, and Indian, and all of the different cuisines of the world with restaurants that delivered. And Tony was also fond of sex. Gibbs was himself fond of sex, especially sex with Tony, so he tended to be around Tony because of it, certainly _during_ the proceedings, and also afterwards. Sex, in turn, made Tony both hungry and lazy, so that made him order food. Sex seemed to make Tony especially crave pizza. What it was that might have occurred in Tony’s life to make him associate orgasms with the need to consume pizza, Gibbs didn’t know – didn’t _want_ to know – but that meant that three, maybe four times a week now, Tony was at Gibbs’ house, ordering pizza from Gibbs’ favorite pizza place and receiving the delivery while clad in nothing but boxers, his or Gibbs’, he wasn’t picky.

One time, Tony had even answered the door wearing black lace panties that had a little off-white bow at the front. While Gibbs had gone crazy when Tony started shimmying out of his pants, doing a sexy dance, to expose said panties – they were boy-shorts, black lace, with that delicate little white bow at the front – and really, they exposed far less of Tony than traditional Speedos did, but seeing Tony’s erection encased in black lace, his cockhead red and blood-filled peeking over the top of the waistband just did something to Gibbs. It was even sexier than if Tony had gone commando, which he did do a lot of the times. Those panties drove Gibbs up the wall with need. Gibbs had had to attack and ravish his man, for once understanding what the bodice rippers claimed could happen to a person. A sexual frenzy? Yeah. Definitely. But while it had driven Gibbs into a sexual frenzy to watch the strip tease, revealing the panties (and Tony’s beautiful dick), when Tony had put the panties and just the panties back on to get the door? That had driven Gibbs up the wall in a completely different way. And not at all a good one.

But Tony kept on doing it, kept on answering the door in his underwear, refusing to care that Gibbs thought that he was flaunting his body (he wasn’t flaunting anything, he kept insisting, he was just being comfortable in his own skin) and nobody but Gibbs complained. Pizza started to arrive at Gibbs’ house in less than half the time that it used to, and Tony had received very many phone numbers written on his receipts from delivery persons of both the male and female persuasion.

Gibbs growled and complained but Tony resolutely ignored him, claiming that Gibbs’ insistence on showering and dressing as if he was going out negated the need to get food ordered in. If they were going to be showered and dressed to receive food delivered to their house when they were too fucking lazy and the whole point of delivery was _for their own convenience_ , the emphasis on those words were Tony’s, then they might as well just go out, Tony insisted. And this ended up being one of those things that they had to agree to disagree about. Tony had dug in his heels, especially after Gibbs had called him indecent and disrespectful the first time it happened.

And if they went to Tony’s apartment, it was no different. Tony refused to change his behavior, continuing to answer the door clad only in his boxers. Gibbs noted to himself though that food _was_ delivered to Tony’s apartment in ten minutes or less which almost certainly meant that his order had to have been re-prioritized and sent out immediately, cutting to the front of the line essentially, both in the kitchen and in the delivery of it. And while the delivery of the food itself was amazingly speedy, the delivery people tended to hang out for ten minutes or more chatting up and flirting with the mostly naked, sometimes cum-encrusted Tony at his front door.

They all fucking _loved_ Tony, to Gibbs’ despair. So much so that if Gibbs was at home alone and called in the delivery for himself on the days that Tony didn’t come over, they’d rush to deliver the food but then they’d be visibly disappointed when he opened the door. There was no flirting. No phone numbers. Nothing. They barely even waited for their tip, glaring at him and trying to crane their necks to look in his house, hoping to catch a glimpse of Tony.

It was driving Gibbs crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whose side are you on in this issue? Tony's or Gibbs? Let me know! ;)
> 
> Will post the final chapter tomorrow.


	2. Calvin Klein vs. Victoria's Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to note that this story is set in the second half of season 2, some time before SWAK. I added this note to the first chapter as well. So keep in mind then that it's 2005.

They’d had a busy week. The MCRT had tracked down the killer of one murdered Navy SEAL, negotiated the release of a kidnapped Marine Specialist held hostage by an insane stalker and then apprehended the stalker, and solved the run of the mill murder of a Petty Officer on shore leave. All in the span of one week. Gibbs hadn’t had a chance to fuck Tony in several days and that was several days too many.

He dragged Tony home with him and almost before Tony could put his backpack down, Gibbs set upon him, pinning him to the wall, kissing him to within an inch of his life and slipping his hand into the man’s pants, groping him. They didn’t even make it to the bedroom. They didn’t even make it off the wall. In the end, Gibbs got as far as pushing both their pants halfway down their hips, pressing their cocks together and wrapping his callused hand securely around both cocks. Out of control, they rutted and thrusted against one another, panting and moaning, losing themselves, getting higher and higher, until they came messily in surprisingly little time.

Gibbs took Tony upstairs, stripped them naked, and wiped them both down with a wet washcloth. Then Tony called for pizza and threw his boxers back. Gibbs could hear Tony’s belly rumbling with hunger.

“Gonna shower,” he told the younger man.

“Yeah, OK,” Tony yawned, laying down on his back, arms and legs spread out like a starfish, in the middle of Gibbs’ bed.

“Come with?”

“Pizza’ll be here soon. Join you after?”

“You could put more clothes on, DiNozzo,” Gibbs grumbled.

“Jesus, give it a rest, Gibbs,” Tony rolled his eyes. “Go shower. I need pizza before I do anything else.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ladies, the Underwear Model called in an order!” the pimply-faced teenaged boy who was taking delivery orders called out to the three drivers who were lounging in the little employee cubby by the order registers. “Pizza’s going in the oven as we speak, as you requested.”

“It’s my turn to deliver to Underwear Model!” a pretty blonde yelled. “ _Yes_!”

“No, no, no,” a redhead with a perky ponytail disagreed. “We said we would rock paper scissors tonight if Underwear Model called.”

“Are you sure it was the Underwear Model and not his Grumpy-Ass Boyfriend?” a brunette asked. Which was a fair question. They all knew that the boyfriend was grumpy and not a little bit scary. But it was worth it to speed that way in case it was Underwear Model himself who answered the door.

“Check the call log!” they yelled at the pimply-faced boy.

The young man clicked through the computer, checking the caller IDs, before he looked up. “Yep, pretty sure Underwear Model called it in and not Grumpy-Ass Boyfriend.”

“Yes! Maybe Underwear Model will be wearing panties again,” the redhead practically drooled. She had been the lucky driver on that particular and momentous occasion. She’d almost forgotten to take the money Underwear Model held out to her, staring unabashedly at the way Underwear Model’s (sadly not erect) cock looked, all nestled under the black lace. The demure white bow on the waistband had been almost too much to bear. “That would totally make it worth it to brave his Grumpy-Ass Boyfriend.”

“Wait a minute, Underwear Model has a boyfriend?” a waiter who was walking by asked, overhearing this last bit. He raised an eyebrow, intrigued, as he himself preferred men. “Underwear Model is into guys? Mrowr!”

The girls giggled and sighed.

“Seriously, how hot can Underwear Model be, anyway?” the waiter asked. “He sounds like he’s taken. By a Grumpy-Ass guy. And maybe he’s not even into women.”

“Oh, we’re pretty sure Underwear Model’s bi,” brunette grinned cheekily. “You can’t fake that kind of chemistry.”

“And Grumpy-Ass Boyfriend is grumpy but he’s totally got that DILF vibe,” the blonde stated.

“He’s really that hot?” the waiter asked again.

Every employee had heard about Underwear Model at the restaurant. The guy always answered the door wearing boxers, and he was supposedly just gorgeous. From his hair, to his face, to his broad shoulders and six-pack abs (seriously, who has those in real life? the kitchen staff asked each other in disbelief as they expedited his order, wishing they could drive out to deliver it to see him for themselves), and his toned ass and muscular legs. The man was a runner. Or a swimmer. Or maybe both, the drivers speculated.

“Are you kidding? The man is fucking gorgeous.”

“We don’t call him the Underwear Model for no reason.”

“His eyes are the best. They’re huge, and expressive. And so green.”

“I’d call them emerald. Yeah, emerald eyes, and you can see the intelligence behind them.”

“No, his lips. Perfectly shaped, luscious and kissable lips.”

“No, man. When he smiles and those dimples show up?”

“Oh, and the six-pack abs! Don’t forget the abs, man!”

“He’s so funny, too. He’s always friendly and funny. And flirtatious.”

The three women sighed and fanned themselves.

“You guys should take a picture so the rest of us can see this god amongst men,” the waiter rolled his eyes. “He can’t be _that_ good looking.”

“Shit, that is so what we should do!” perky redhead exclaimed.

“We can’t just go up to him and be like, can we take your picture, Underwear Model?” the brunette objected.

“Why not?” the blonde asked.

“Well for one thing, I’m pretty sure Grumpy-Ass Boyfriend will rip the camera out of our hands,” brunette said. The other two nodded. Damn, that girl was logical.

“I don’t think any of us has cameras with us to begin with,” the blonde conceded.

“My parents got me _this_ for my birthday last week!” perky redhead pulled out her new cell phone. Her new _camera_ phone was one of the expensive Nokia ones with the swiveling lens thing. “I could wait in the car and sneak pictures of him while one of you does the delivery.”

“That would definitely work,” brunette agreed, eyes shining now that they had a logical, workable plan.

“That means you and me need to rock paper scissors right now,” the blonde pointed to the brunette.

“Yeah, cause it’s my cameraphone so I definitely have to go,” the redhead nodded, her ponytail bouncing perkily.

The blonde and the brunette stared grimly at each other before they began thumping their fists to their palms and readying themselves for battle. The blonde threw scissors and the brunette paper.

“Fuck!” the brunette yelled. “Best two out of three. C’mon.”

The blonde stuck her tongue out but cooperated by facing her co-worker off again. This time, they both threw paper. Next, they both threw rock. One more time, and the blonde threw rock and the brunette paper. The blonde screamed in frustration and they both faced off again. This time victory was decisive. The blonde won, scissors over paper.

The second the special priority rush order was ready, the blonde and the redhead ran off with the pie in the special warming sleeve, while the brunette slumped onto a bench, scrubbing her face and groaning in disappointment.

\----------------------------------------------------------------

The doorbell rang just as Gibbs emerged from the shower and started to dress.

“Pizza’s here!” Tony exclaimed, rolling off the bed and hurrying down the stairs.

Gibbs shook his head, biting his lips to stop from urging Tony to put more clothes on again, and pulled his own clothes on in jerky movements. He was annoyed. He couldn’t deny it. He dressed quickly – jeans, t-shirt, hoodie – and padded downstairs, hearing voices in his doorway.

“Yeah? I guess those are your favorite toppings, huh?” a breathless woman’s voice sounded. “That’s what you always order.”

“I know, I’m so predictable. But you can’t mess with perfection,” Tony replied. Gibbs knew that tone of voice. That was the ‘I’m totally hitting on you without openly hitting on you’ voice that Tony employed every so often.

“You must really love pizza to order from us so much.”

“It’s the Italian in me,” Gibbs could hear the smirk in Tony’s voice. The flirtatious smirk.

“Maybe you could come in to the restaurant some time. We have a full Italian menu, you know?” And why was the woman saying ‘full Italian menu’ like it was some kind of sexual offering? Gibbs wanted to know.

Tony laughed flirtatiously. Fuck, even the man’s laugh was flirtatious, Gibbs fumed. The man was a born flirt. “It’s hard to find the energy to go out to eat sometimes,” he replied. “Work takes a lot out of us and it’s nice to just chill and get food delivered.” Huh, he said us, Gibbs was appeased by the fact that Tony had included him in this conversation.

“Oh, I can see how that would be.”

“Anyway, thanks for bringing the pizza so quickly. You guys not only make the best pizza around here, but always get it delivered it so quickly and by the most charming people!”

“Oh, you’re _so_ very welcome… Thanks for being such a… loyal customer.” Gibbs suppressed a growl. This woman made everything sound like an innuendo.

“Hey, I thought you guys usually do the deliveries alone?” Tony asked, his tone now curious and Gibbs could see him peek out into the driveway.

“Oh!” and why was that a guilty oh? Gibbs wanted to know. “Th-that’s just my friend. Her shift ended and I’m just dropping her off at home before I head back to the restaurant. You know…? To deliver more pizzas?” And did she get even more breathless? How was that even possible? Gibbs wondered grumpily. She was going to pass out due to oxygen deprivation if she didn’t get her breathing under control.

Gibbs watched as Tony leaned out and waved to whoever was in the car.

“Well, you have a nice night now,” Tony gave her his big smile.

“Um, so what do you do that you’re too tired to go out to eat?”

That was _it_. That was enough. She was not getting the message and she needed to right away or Gibbs was going to explode. Gibbs stepped up to the door and wrenched it open wide, making the pretty blonde with the fucking pixie haircut jump. He put an arm possessively around Tony and pulled him in for a deep kiss, making Tony melt into his arms and moan. When he pulled away, Tony stood there, wide eyed, mouth open, staring at him.

Gibbs turned and fixed his most baleful blue gaze at the young woman. The one that made seasoned criminals quake in their boots.

“Thanks for the pizza,” he drawled, showing his teeth in a menacing smile before he pulled Tony inside the house, the door still open, the blonde now gaping at them.

“What?” Gibbs snarled at Tony who was still doing his best deer in headlights impression.

“That was hot,” Tony breathed.

Gibbs saw that Tony’s pupils were blown, only rimmed by the brightest of greens, the rest dark with lust. Tony was hard again, his cock tenting his boxers, and he was starting to pant.

“Bedroom,” Gibbs said tightly, feeling his own pants tightening in response. “Now!”

“On it, Boss!” Tony squeaked and threw the pizza box onto the coffee table, then making a mad dash up the stairs.

Gibbs turned to the blonde in the doorway. “Have a good night,” he told her grimly and shut the door in the woman’s face.

Gibbs peeked out the front windows and waited until he saw that the car with the delivery lights start pulling out of the driveway. Deliberately, he locked his front door. He didn’t want anything or anyone interrupting what he was going to do next. Straightening his collar, he marched upstairs. Tony was waiting for him.

When he opened his bedroom door, he found Tony sprawled on his back, boxers discarded carelessly on the floor, fisting his hard, leaking cock. He stalked over to the bed, and he could swear that Tony’s eyes dilated a little more every step closer that he got.

“That got you all hot and bothered, huh?” he asked huskily as he pulled the hoodie and t-shirt off, and undid his pants, stepping out of the pants and boxers in one easy move.

Tony nodded wordlessly.

“You’re _mine_ ,” Gibbs’ voice was low, and Tony moaned in response, hip canting into his hand, still gently stroking his erection. “That means, hands off _my_ property, DiNozzo,” Gibbs deliberately took Tony’s hand and pulled it away from his dick. The blue eyed man gazed deeply into Tony’s eyes, Tony’s breath hitching when Gibbs pushed his arms up over his head and held both wrists down with one strong hand. Tony whimpered, his breaths coming in shallow pants, eyes unable to look away from Gibbs’ blue gaze.

“Do you understand?” Gibbs asked.

Tony swallowed thickly and nodded once. God, Gibbs loved it when he could silence Tony this way. Tony ran his tongue over his lips, and relaxed his muscles, letting Gibbs hold his wrists down without straining against the hold. It was the most beautiful sight Gibbs had ever seen. Tony submitting to him.

Gibbs smiled approvingly and leaned down to claim Tony’s mouth. The kiss was filthy, tongues licking, tasting, dueling with each other. Gibbs found himself moaning into Tony’s mouth, both hands buried in his thick, brown hair, and he realized that Tony’s arms were still outstretched over his head where he’d left them, even though Gibbs was no longer holding his wrists. Tony’s legs were clamped around the back of his thighs, their dicks rubbing against each other, starting to slide deliciously from the pre-cum drooling from Tony’s cock.

“You can touch me, DiNozzo,” Gibbs whispered as he sucked his way down Tony’s jawline, licking the shell of his ear, and sucking a mark onto his neck, right below his ear, making the younger man moan and shudder. Tony’s arms went around Gibbs’ back, now that he’d been given permission, one hand ending up fisted in Gibbs hair while the other clenched and unclenched uncontrollably on Gibbs’ side, hip, waist, and ass. Gibbs continued, kissing his way down Tony’s neck, sucking a deep bruise on the man’s collarbone, drinking in the gasps and moans that he pulled out of the younger man’s mouth, making his way slowly and deliberately towards Tony’s nipple, already a pebbled, hard nub. He sucked the bud in and Tony groaned, arching his back, pressing Gibbs’ head down into him.

“Let me hear you,” Gibbs said, licking and biting the nipple. Tony gasped when Gibbs released the nipple, arching his back and falling back onto the bed.

“Please,” Tony begged.

“Please what, sweetheart?” Gibbs asked, turning his attention to Tony’s other nipple, nipping at it and laving it with his tongue.

“Please fuck me,” Tony moaned, rutting against Gibbs, grinding their hardened shafts together. “Please…”

“I’ll fuck you when I’m good and ready,” Gibbs told him, and Tony whimpered again. Gibbs grinned at him. “You’ll really digging this, huh?”

“Whatever gave you that idea?” Tony mumbled, rolling his eyes, until Gibbs moved down and bit the inside of his thigh. He yelped, and then he gasped and his eyes rolled for a completely different reason when Gibbs licked the slit in his dick, pressing his tongue in and swiping all the pre-cum. He hummed, enjoying the salty and bitter taste.

Gibbs snapped his fingers impatiently and Tony reached into the nightstand and pulled out the lube. Gibbs continued to lick the top of Tony’s dick delicately, causing the younger man to groan, arching his back, rutting against Gibbs’ tongue, begging wordlessly for more. Gibbs finally wrapped his lips around Tony’s cock and sucked on his cockhead as he pushed a lubed finger into Tony’s hole. Gibbs continued the double assault, bobbing up and down on Tony’s cock as he slid his finger in and out of Tony’s ass, adding a second finger and then a third, teasing him by pressing on his prostate every second or third stroke. He looked up at Tony and saw that he was staring down at Gibbs, one hand clenching the sheets, the other desperately twisting his nipple. He was fucking himself down onto Gibbs’ fingers and the sounds that he made were making Gibbs painfully hard.

Gibbs deep throated him one last time, and Tony threw his head back, crying out. He allowed Tony’s moans to wash over him. Finally, he released Tony’s cock and removed his fingers, lubing his aching dick as he crawled up higher between Tony’s legs and pushed them open even wider. He patted the inside of Tony’s thigh soothingly as he lined himself up and pushed his cockhead in. Slowly he worked himself in until he bottomed out, balls crushed against Tony’s ass.

“OK, sweetheart?” he panted.

Tony licked his lips and nodded, squeezing Gibbs’ dick hard. Gibbs moaned. He threw one of Tony’s legs over his shoulder and hooked the other on his arm, opening him up and angling him a little. He pulled almost all the way out before sliding back home, and Tony sighed, closing his eyes. Gibbs began thrusting, snapping his hips, slow and deliberate, making figure eights and rubbing Tony’s prostate, hard but slowly, making the younger man beg for more. Tony was so hot and tight around him – it had been days since Gibbs had last fucked him – that Gibbs gave in, claiming Tony’s lips as he began fucking him, hard and fast, the angle such that it ensured that he nailed Tony’s prostate with each and every stroke. And since they had both so recently come, the buildup to orgasm took even longer than usual. Gibbs fucked Tony thoroughly, slamming into him, their sweaty bodies sliding against each other as Tony held on, matching Gibbs’ every move, eyes wide, unable to look away from him.

The older man slid Tony’s leg down off his shoulder and carefully wrapped both legs around his waist before he flipped them over, Tony ending up on top. Tony blinked in surprise, face smooshed into Gibbs’ chest.

“Want you to ride me, sweetheart,” Gibbs told him.

Tony nodded, his body already starting to do just that. He bit Gibbs’ nipple before he sat up, put both hands on the top of the headboard, spread his legs wide, feet flat on the bed, and began slamming himself down onto Gibbs’ cock in an erotic version of the squats. He angled it a little until Gibbs’ dick was fucking right into his prostate and he couldn’t stop his loud, throaty moans.

Gibbs grabbed Tony’s hips and began thrusting up into Tony’s prostate, and the younger man closed his eyes and howled his pleasure. “ _Fuck!_ ” he screamed. “Oh fuck. Oh fuck me. Fuck, right there Gibbs, oh god oh fuck… _nnnnghhhhhhh_ …” his cries devolved into wordless grunts and urgent moans as he continued to fuck himself into Gibbs’ strong thrusts, feeling Gibbs big dick moving relentlessly deep inside him, filling him.

Tony’s hard cock was bouncing up and down wetly, blurting pre-cum copiously onto Gibbs’ belly. Gibbs licked his palm before he grabbed hold of Tony’s cock, jacking him off.

“ _Nnnnnhhhhh_ ohmygod…. Nnnnnnhhhhh please… gonna… I _can’t_ … gonna… oh god… _nnnnnnghhhhhhh_ …” Tony was incoherent, grinding himself down into Gibbs with every thrust. “Please… let me come… please…? I need to…” he moaned.

Hearing Tony beg him for permission to come almost made Gibbs lose control. “Come for me,” Gibbs ordered him.

Helpless to disobey, two deep thrusts later, Tony screamed as he came, ropes of cum ejecting from his cock, and he tightened hard around Gibbs’ cock, pulling the older man over the edge with him. He continued to fuck himself into Gibbs’ pulsing dick, milking him of every bit of cum, until he slumped heavily onto Gibbs’ body, trembling and shuddering and breathing hard.

It was a while before either man was able to say or do anything except cling to each other and breathe. Finally, when Gibbs’ softened dick slipped out of Tony’s body, the younger man pushed himself off Gibbs, scooting over to the side a little before he laid back down, head pillowed on Gibbs’ shoulder, one arm around Gibbs’ chest. Gibbs’ arm had automatically gone around Tony’s back and was moving up and down it, fingers idly tracing his spine and the dimples at the bottom of his back. Gibbs loved those little depressions in Tony’s back.

“Fuck,” Gibbs finally sighed.

“Mmm,” Tony agreed, his breathing and heart rate finally slowing.

“That was amazing,” Gibbs said softly.

“Mmmm,” Tony sighed, dropping a satisfied kiss on Gibbs’ chest.

“I think Mrs Freeman from next door probably heard you come,” Gibbs teased.

“Mmm-hmmm,” Tony smiled, dragging his fingers through the drying cum on Gibbs’ belly, tracing letters and patterns in it.

Gibbs sighed again. They laid quietly together, Tony starting to drop off when his belly growled ferociously. Gibbs laughed.

“Pizza time?” he teased.

“I might be too tired to go down to eat. Even though it’s pizza,” Tony whined.

“Did I wear you out? Youngsters, these days,” Gibbs was amused. “No stamina.”

“Shut up, old man,” Tony retorted with no venom.

“I’ll be right back.” Gibbs kissed Tony’s neck, making him stretch it out, baring it, begging for more. “Back soon, sweetheart,” Gibbs murmured against Tony’s still sweaty skin, starting to move off the bed.

Tony closed his eyes and whined when Gibbs wriggled out of his grasp, but he was just too exhausted to go after the man. He closed his eyes and yawned, his eyelids fluttering close. Sometime later, he felt the bed dip and Gibbs’ fingers carding through his hair.

“Hey,” Gibbs whispered into his ear.

“Mmm,” Tony’s brows creased in a frown but his eyes remained close.

“How much do you love me?”

“A lot,” Tony said around a yawn. “But you’re making my spidey senses tingle. What do you want for this admission, babe?” He cracked an eye open and looked at Gibbs suspiciously.

“Nothing. I just brought you something.”

Tony groaned. “I’m tired,” he pouted, closing his eyes again. “You were a slave driver this week.”

“I know,” Gibbs nuzzled into the back of Tony’s neck. “Smell it?”

Tony sniffed, scenting the air. “Pizza?” he lifted his head eagerly.

Gibbs waved the box under his nose. “I even warmed it all back up for you.”

“But you never let us eat in bed!”

“I think we can make an exception today.”

Tony whooped and sat up, first throwing himself into Gibbs’ arm and kissing him deeply. His belly rumbled again and Gibbs pulled away, gently pushing him to lean back against the pillows he’d arranged at the head of the bed. Gibbs settled down, sitting down in between Tony’s legs, pulling Tony’s long legs around him and curling his own sweatpants clad legs around Tony’s body. The pizza box was set next to them on the bed.

Gibbs opened the box and pulled out a slice, long strings of cheese stretching from the slice to the rest of the pizza. He slapped Tony’s hand away when the younger man reached for a slice, and kissed the hurt look off of Tony’s face, before he began feeding him pizza by hand. Tony ate hungrily, alternating between chewing and swallowing bites of pizza and kissing Gibbs. Gibbs also ate, both men sharing each slice, taking turns biting off pizza.

When they were full, Gibbs wiped his fingers and mouth, and Tony’s mouth, tossed the empty box onto the floor and they kissed, soft and tender with each other. “Happy now?” he asked softly.

“Mmm,” Tony smiled, a gentle, sated smile, his eyes shining with happiness.

“But I’m guessing I’m never going to break you of the habit of answering the door in your underwear?”

Tony shook his head gently, his smile turning into a mischievous grin. “Especially not if you react like this when it happens.”

“That girl was flirting way too much today,” Gibbs grumbled.

“I think her friend in the car might’ve been taking pictures,” Tony pursed his lips, grinning with amusement.

Gibbs groaned. “You’re going to be the death of me, Tony,” he sighed.

“Only _la petite mort_ , I hope,” Tony said, tongue in cheek, grinding their groins together.

“And lots of it,” Gibbs agreed. Then he sighed. “That settles it,” he said sadly. “I’m going to have to answer the door when you order food.”

Tony laughed. “Possessive bastard.”

“Damn skippy,” Gibbs grunted. “Even if it means the food might start getting here in the scheduled time instead of lightning fast.”

“Ha!” Tony crowed. “I _told_ you I get really awesome delivery times!”

Gibbs glared at him.

“You’re not actually going to shower and dress before you let me call for the food, are you?” Tony frowned.

“I’ll shower and dress really fast and you can call whenever you want. I’ll make sure I’m ready whenever the food arrives. The sacrifices I make for you,” Gibbs shook his head in mock sadness. “Maybe you can get the door some of the times. But I _will_ have to scare the delivery person into not flirting with you, though. And then I might have to remind you to whom you belong.”

Tony shivered at Gibbs’ words. “OK,” he whispered hoarsely.

“Maybe you can wear those panties for me again some time.”

Tony smiled, looking up at Gibbs through his eyelashes, coy and sweet. “I could,” he said carefully. “But you know, I might have a couple other pairs of panties that you might enjoy just as much.”

Gibbs swallowed audibly, his imagination running wild. What colors were these other panties? Were they all lace, or did Tony have any that were satin? Or stretchy cotton. Did they all have bows? Did he have any that were thongs so he’d be able to fuck the man while he was still wearing the panties?

“I might enjoy that,” he finally found his words. “Just promise me you’ll let me answer the door next time you’re wearing panties. I don’t think I’d be able to handle you letting anyone else see you wearing them again.”

Tony nodded. “Deal.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Epilogue

Copies of the pictures the perky redhead had taken were quickly printed and distributed to all interested employees at Gibbs’ favorite pizza place. It was agreed that Underwear Model definitely lived up to his name and all the hype, although the picture of Underwear Model being kissed by his Grumpy-Ass Boyfriend became fairly popular as well. In fact, Grumpy-Ass Boyfriend was re-christened Jealous Grab-Ass Boyfriend.

They continued to fight over the rights to deliver Underwear Model’s pizza even though he answered the door less these days. But he seemed to try to ensure that he was visible at least briefly in the background some of the times. Which wasn’t a bad deal for the lucky lady (or guy) who won the delivery.

Once, they all almost keeled over when Underwear Model and Jealous Grab-Ass Boyfriend turned up at the restaurant to eat, snuggled together in a booth. Underwear Model wore a designer suit that fit him beautifully. Jealous Grab-Ass Boyfriend, the DILF, had on a polo shirt and ho-hum pants but it didn’t matter that much because the best accessory he had was the Underwear Model on his arm.

The next day, new photos of Underwear Model were circulated to all employees of the restaurant who were interested.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want to put it in the summary as it would have given some things away, but the summary I wanted to write for this chapter was:  
>  _In which Tony and Gibbs earn their nicknames, Gibbs makes peace with Tony's etiquette to receiving deliveries, and there is more talk about panties._ :D
> 
> Note again that the story is set in 2005. I wanted it to be early on in the series because well, I didn't want it to be too weird/off for the delivery people (who tend to be young and in their twenties) to say the kinds of things they say about both Tony and Gibbs. ;) As such, I did try to keep the story somewhat accurate. For instance, the redhead's cameraphone (who calls them 'cameraphones' these days, right?) is this [Nokia model](http://www.digitaltrends.com/cell-phone-reviews/nokia-n90-review/) that was the top model of cameraphones in 2005. Yes I am obviously a nerd who did a tiny bit of online research :P
> 
> I'm not sure if DILF (or MILF) was a term back in 2005? I used it, so sorry if it's anachronistic, but it fit so well in the story (or at least I thought so). Also, if you don't know, [this is what a DILF is.](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=DILF)
> 
> I really enjoyed all the comments and the debate on the etiquette of the dress code (or lack thereof) of receiving deliveries! This fic was totally all in fun and not meant to be too serious, even though I hope I kept Tony and Gibbs somewhat in character. I tried to write it almost like a fairy tale, one with a slightly snarky narrator (in Gibbs' voice for the most part) so I hope that feel sort of came through. I giggled when I wrote it, giggled at many of your comments, and I even giggled at the tags that I put on this fic, which is nice given the high dosage of angst that my muse has been subjecting us all to recently. :)
> 
> Musically, the song I listened to the most while I wrote this is the same one I am using to write my NCIS Secret Santa (SeSa) story, so I won't reveal it here. ;) It doesn't really fit this story, but it was upbeat and funny and kept me in the right mood still, so I continued to write while listening to it.
> 
> Also, for Red_Pink_Dots, I tried to use _la petite mort_ but I don't know that it really did the term justice. I feel like I can do better. I'll see if I can attempt to fit it in a different fic. ;)  
>  La petite mort (the little death): an expression for orgasm.
> 
> Finally, to my lovely friend hazel_rah, even though I may be a heathen, I love you hon. Hope you like how this story ended. Thanks for the lively conversation which turned into a hashing of the plot for a possible fic (this story!). Don't read this chapter at work ;)
> 
> As always, I thank you all so much for all the kudos (kudoses?), comments, and bookmarks. I love you all! I will reply to comments sometime later. Right now I have to get another couple hours of sleep before my work day starts because I'm scheduled to be on the phone for at least 9 hours tomorrow (help!).
> 
> Thank you again! :D  
> -j  
> xoxo


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